Sunday, November 28, 2010

The idiot speaks: Waterboarding saves lives!

To make absolutely certain that his name goes down in history (as if fucking the whole planet wasn't enough), former US president, pseudo-soldier and Thomas the Tank Engine fan George W. Bush states in his recently published memoirs that information obtained from terrorist suspects using 'waterboarding'  - the interrogation technique that simulates drowning - prevented attacks on London and helped to save British lives.

In an interview with The Times newspaper, Bush confirmed that he authorised the use of waterboarding to extract information.

"Damn right!", he said. "Three people were waterboarded and I believe that decision saved lives ... Their interrogations helped break up plots to attack American diplomatic facilities abroad, Heathrow airport and Canary Wharf in London, and multiple targets in the United States."

"It doesn't matter how people perceive me in England. It just doesn't matter any more. And frankly, at times, it didn't matter then."

In that case, fuck off you warmongering piece of shit!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

What a friggin' disgrace! Yet again, Joe public has to fork out for the stinking rich!

While the vast majority of their 'subjects' (ha ha!) are struggling to survive the financial crisis, it has just been announced that although the royal family has condescended to pay for William and Kate's church service, music, flowers, decorations reception and honeymoon (well whoopie-fucking-doo!), the general public will foot the security bill.

And that's not all ...

... the wedding day will be a public holiday!

So not only will public taxes be used to finance an unnecessarily elaborate ceremony involving an out-of-date, out-of-touch, incalculably wealthy and useless institution - the British monarchy - a lot of poor bastards who work for money-grabbing employers who only pay by the hour will find themselves out of pocket when they are forced to take a day off while two people who cannot even begin to comprehend the meaning of the term 'financial hardship' tie the knot and then bugger off on a hyper-luxury honeymoon leaving the rest of us wondering how the fuck we're going pay our gas and electricity bills and put the next meal on the table.

And the most amazing (and truly absurd) phenomenon of all: millions of those poor bastards will line the streets and cheer, or sit glued to their TVs in blissful stupidity, as the happy couple make their vows and then drive by in their million-dollar limousine waving to the idiots who finance their billion-dollar lives.

So tell me please ... with the exception of the trillions of dollars that are spent on wars every year instead of finding a cure for cancer, how much more perverse can you get?!

Friday, November 19, 2010

This is what happens when you give rich fucks high-level jobs in government

A senior adviser to David Cameron - Lord 'I'm-an-utter-asshole' Young of Graffham - has apologised to the Prime Minister for telling a newspaper that the majority of British people have "never had it so good".

He also told the Daily Telegraph that people would look back and "wonder what all the fuss was about".

What an asshole!

This is what happens when you give rich fucks high-level jobs in government! They're so fucking rich that they've completely lost touch with reality.

He should be sacked without hesitation, his rich-fuck bank account should be wiped, and then he should be put on Job Seeker's Allowance for a few years.

I wonder if he'll still wonder what all the fuss is about when he has to live off 65 quid a week and he's totally financially fucked!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Did you sell your soul for games?

The following article appeared on Yahoo on 16 April. I meant to post it then, but forgot. It's a real eye-opener and demonstrates just how stupid the human species really is! LOL

Did you sell your soul for games?

Answer this question honestly – do you read the small print when you buy games on the internet?

High Street retailing giant GameStation decided to put this to the test and inserted a new clause into their terms and conditions earlier this month that granted them legal rights to the immortal souls of thousands of their online customers. Here, in darkest legalese, is how they got away with such a heinous act:

"By placing an order via this Web site on the first day of the fourth month of the year 2010 Anno Domini, you agree to grant Us a non transferable option to claim, for now and for ever more, your immortal soul. Should We wish to exercise this option, you agree to surrender your immortal soul, and any claim you may have on it, within 5 (five) working days of receiving written notification from or one of its duly authorised minions."

GameStation’s fiendish clause specified that they might serve such notice in “six foot-high letters of fire” too, but also offered customers an option to opt out, rewarding them with a £5 money-off voucher if they did so.

Alas, hardly anyone noticed the clause, let alone the substantial bonus for spotting the gag. More to the point, the fact that it passed more or less unnoticed raises an important issue – too few people actually read the small print when they make online purchases.

According to GameStation, around 7,500 customers carelessly signed their souls away on the day. Were you one of them...?