Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Creationism - as if the planet doesn't already have enough bullshit on it

Put simply, creationism is the insane, absurd, pathetic, stupid, ridiculous, perverse, idiotic, nonsensical, fanatical religious belief that everything in the Book of Genesis is literally true: that 6000 years ago (give or take a few centuries) a supernatural, Merlin-like being magically created the universe in six days (and nights); that all of humankind descends from Adam and Eve (no one else, just Adam and Eve and, presumably, her seven daughters); and that the Garden of Eden is a lost paradise where humans "and" dinosaurs once co-existed in peace and harmony.

It goes without saying (but I'm going to say it anyway) that creationists reject evolution. But because they're devious bastards, they often embrace a sort of short-term natural selection to explain biodiversity after Noah's Flood (hummm!).

And where do they get these very odd ideas from? 

Well ... in 1650, Archbishop Ussher, the Church of Ireland Archbishop of Armagh and Primate of All Ireland from 1625 to 1656, published his Ussher Chronology, which dated the creation of the Earth to the night "preceding" October the 23rd, 4004 BCE. In other words, October the 22nd (why the fuck didn't he say that in the first place?!).

Ussher's proposed date of 4004 BC differed little from other Biblically-based estimates, such as those of Bede (3952 BC), Ussher's near-contemporary, Scaliger (3949 BC), Johannes Kepler (3992 BC), Sir Isaac Newton (c. 4000 BC), or John Lightfoot (3929 BC).

So now you know.

What a bunch of assholes!


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