Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Creationism - as if the planet doesn't already have enough bullshit on it

Put simply, creationism is the insane, absurd, pathetic, stupid, ridiculous, perverse, idiotic, nonsensical, fanatical religious belief that everything in the Book of Genesis is literally true: that 6000 years ago (give or take a few centuries) a supernatural, Merlin-like being magically created the universe in six days (and nights); that all of humankind descends from Adam and Eve (no one else, just Adam and Eve and, presumably, her seven daughters); and that the Garden of Eden is a lost paradise where humans "and" dinosaurs once co-existed in peace and harmony.

It goes without saying (but I'm going to say it anyway) that creationists reject evolution. But because they're devious bastards, they often embrace a sort of short-term natural selection to explain biodiversity after Noah's Flood (hummm!).

And where do they get these very odd ideas from? 

Well ... in 1650, Archbishop Ussher, the Church of Ireland Archbishop of Armagh and Primate of All Ireland from 1625 to 1656, published his Ussher Chronology, which dated the creation of the Earth to the night "preceding" October the 23rd, 4004 BCE. In other words, October the 22nd (why the fuck didn't he say that in the first place?!).

Ussher's proposed date of 4004 BC differed little from other Biblically-based estimates, such as those of Bede (3952 BC), Ussher's near-contemporary, Scaliger (3949 BC), Johannes Kepler (3992 BC), Sir Isaac Newton (c. 4000 BC), or John Lightfoot (3929 BC).

So now you know.

What a bunch of assholes!

France is not the only country expelling Roma. Germany is also committing an atrocity

The French are currently deporting Roma in what is effectively a massive exercise in ethnic cleansing. But the French are not the only country guilty of a major human rights atrocity. The Germans are also kicking Roma out of the country, many of whom were born in Germany, are German citizens, and speak only German (with just a smattering of the Roma language).
In the words of 13-year-old Bukurije Berisha, whose family was recently expelled from Germany and forced to re-settle in Kosovo: "I feel like I'm in prison. I don't go out of the yard. I still hope I'll wake up and see it was a bad dream".

She speaks no Albanian and only a little Roma. Her native language is German.

Bukurije's parents were granted asylum in Germany in 1993 after the brutal Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevic (now dead) made life in Kosovo a hell on earth. But last December, they found themselves in one of a number of poor Roma settlements along with 10,000 other Roma who are being returned to Kosovo under a bilateral deal eleven years after the end of the Kosovo war.

Thomas Hammarberg, the human rights commissioner for the Council of Europe, the pan-European rights body, urged member states to "refrain from action that only worsens the exclusion of Roma, many of whom already live on the fringe as stateless people without documents and thus denied basic human rights".

European Justice and Rights Commissioner Viviane Reding has also warned that the situation of many Roma seems to have deteriorated over the years and that this is not acceptable.

So why is nothing being done to stop this debacle?

Disregarding the fact that around half of the Roma to be deported from Germany are children who were born and raised in Germany, Kosovo is acknowledged as one of Europe's poorest countries and critics justifiably claim that it is unable to guarantee basic human rights.

So I repeat: why is nothing being done?

(Adapted from an article on The Local - an excellent website providing Germany's news in English: http://www.thelocal.de/society/20100819-29267.html )

Monday, August 30, 2010

Who's going to stop France from expelling the Roma?

Despite global criticism, France continues to kick Gypsies out of the country.

Interior Minister Brice Hortefeux called the action "legitimate and necessary."

Is he insane? Is this how he wants to be remembered by future generations? Is this how he wants to go down in history? By removing an entire ethnic group from his country? I can hardly believe that the French people are allowing this to happen.

"It's not a question of stigmatizing this or that population," said Hortefeux. "We can't close our eyes to the reality."

What reality?

Many of these people were born in France. They are French citizens. They have no where to go. You can't just expel a whole people. It's perverse. It's wrong. It's the forcible removal of a population. It's ethnic cleansing!

Surely this is not how Nicolas Sarkozy believes he will win the 2012 presidential election!

France announced today (Monday) that it will step up deportations of "foreigners" caught stealing or begging aggressively as part of a high-profile crackdown on the Roma minority that has sparked condemnation around the world.

I never cease to be shocked and disgusted at what human beings are capable of doing to each other. I'm against any form of crime, and stealing and begging aggressively must not be tolerated. But the Roma should not be singled out as the only perpetrators. The very notion is absurd and very very wrong.

By the way, that's Brice Hortefeux in the photo. Remember his face.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Influential Israeli rabbi says that God should kill the Palestinian people and their leader. It's no wonder the human species is fucked!

Right before the Middle East peace talks are set to begin next week, an influential Israeli rabbi (let's hope he's not 'too' influential!) has said that God (his god) should strike down the Palestinians and their leader with a plague.

His name is Ovadia Yosef, he's 89 years old, and he's the spiritual head of the religious Shas party in Israel's government.

These were his exact words:

"Abu Mazen [Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas's popular name] and all these evil people should perish from this earth. God should strike them and these Palestinians - evil haters of Israel - with a plague."

Apparently, the Iraqi-born cleric has made similar remarks before. During a Palestinian uprising in 2001, he called for the annihilation of the Arabs and said it was forbidden to be merciful to them.

Fortunately, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has distanced himself from the comments and said that Israel wants to reach a peace deal with the Palestinians that would ensure good neighbourly relations.

What a joke! I don't think that any of them know what the word 'peace' actually means.

Saeb Erekat, the chief Palestinian negotiator, said that Yosef's latest comments were tantamount to calling for "genocide against Palestinians. The rabbi's remarks are an insult to all our efforts to advance the negotiations process."

He's right ... but what negotiations is he talking about? I only see more and more innocent people dying on both sides.

When are we ever going to learn?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

How many times have I told you that humans are intrinsically stupid and destructive! Here's more evidence

There are two things that are an absolute no-go in my life: religion and football. Religion because it's demeaning, ridiculous and flies in the face of all reason (and loads of priests are paedophiles), and football because, well, it sucks.

And why does it suck? Because it attracts aggression and violence like a magnet, because it's obsessive, and because many players earn salaries that are big enough to eradicate hunger and starvation from the face of the planet.

And if you want an example of football destructiveness, obsessiveness and stupidity all rolled into one, take a look at this:

Fans of the Greek side Panionios have dug up their own football pitch and torn down the goal posts because - wait for it - they were outraged at the idea of their ground being used by their hated local rivals AEK Athens after the original venue for the Europa League match between Scottish team Dundee United and AEK Athens had to be switched from the Olympic Stadium to Panionios due to sprinklers problems at the Olympic ground.

Apparently, Panionios fans were so pissed off that they broke into their own stadium and wreaked havoc in order to stop the game from going ahead.

If anyone's interested (for fuck sake, get a life!), the game will now take place at Georgios Karaiskakis stadium in Athens, home of Olympiacos (the fans of which are clearly somewhat more civilized than those at Panionios.

But there's a final twist to the tale: AEK fans have been banned from attending the match in order to ensure safety. This means that Dundee United's 600 travelling fans will be the only supporters in the 33,500-seater stadium.

Have you ever heard of anything so absurd, so ridiculous, so childish, and so pathetic?!

That's football for you :-)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Stephen Fry has attacked the BBC for producing 'chicken nugget' television ... and I totally agree with him

I don't watch TV. In fact, I haven't owned one for at least 30 years. Ignoring the fact that most UK TV programmes are a load of infantile, mundane rubbish, I refuse to pay for anything (namely a TV license) if I'm not going to get excellent value for money in return.

Of course, I occasionally watch TV when I'm staying in a hotel and have absolutely nothing better to do. But even then, I spend so much time flicking through the channels in search of something decent to watch that I end up with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

That's why I agree with Stephen Fry when he says that infantilism is the problem: "The number of times I turn on the television and I think Oh my God, it's nine o'clock in the evening. This is for grown-ups?!"

He says that much of the BBC's output is more suitable for children and that it fails to provide interesting and challenging programmes for adults.

"It's just shocking. The only dramas the BBC will boast about are Merlin and Doctor Who, which are fine but they're children's programmes. They're not for adults. They are like a chicken nugget. Every now and again we all like it. Every now and again. But if you are an adult, you want something surprising, savoury, sharp, unusual, cosmopolitan, alien, challenging, complex, ambiguous, possibly even slightly disturbing and wrong."

He's right!

He goes on to warn that broadcasters are making programmes that are too simplistic and do not seem to trust in the intelligence of the audience.

"I don't want TV to be 'pompous and academic', but I feel that broadcasters should make more programmes that 'surprise and astonish'. The more TV trusts that British adults are not children, the better our TV will be," using Sir David Attenborough's natural history programmes as a rare example of shows that have escaped the trend for dumbing down.

Doctor Who writer Steven Moffat dismisses Fry's criticisms by claiming that "Stephen is just trying to sound like a grown-up. He loves Doctor Who - he's told me he is a fan. The show is designed specifically to be a family programme. It is the junction between children and adults - the show that everyone wants to watch. Doctor Who is a very high- end, quality show - it's got no comparison to "chicken nuggets" or junk food."

In my opinion, Moffat is wrong and Stephen Fry is absolutely right.

The British are dumbed down enough as it is without TV companies (and the UK press) making matters even worse. You only have to log on to Yahoo! UK to see what I mean. Most days of the week, the news headlines are about some 'shocking' event or revelation in the next episode of 'Corie' (Coronation Street). It's absurd! I mean, for fuck sake ... it's only a soap opera, but it takes precedence over immeasurably more important world affairs.

What an idiotic species we are!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Traffic Jam Enters Ninth Day

If you think you've got it bad, think of the poor bastards who are currently entering their 9th day stuck in a 100km long traffic jam on the Beijing-Tibet Expressway in China! Yes, you understood correctly. Nine days confined to your car with not a single toilet in sight. Shit!

Apparently, hundreds of cars and trucks on their way to Beijing have been at a standstill because of roadworks in the capital. Drivers have been playing chess or cards, with some joking "concerts should be held at each congested area every weekend, to alleviate drivers' homesickness".

Local residents have even been benefiting from the jam by selling food and drink to the car owners, which has pissed some people off because the vendors have been making a small fortune by overcharging drivers for such essential items as noodles and hot water.

It's hoped that the roadworks will be completed by the end of September. Yes, the end of September! :-)

Niu Fengrui, director of the Institute for Urban and Environmental Studies at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences said that poor road planning was part of the problem. Duuuh!!!

Monday, August 23, 2010

This is great: The Rise of Text Messaging

Click on the image to see a larger view.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

I despair at how fucked the world is! Saudi Judge Asks Doctors To Damage Criminal's Spinal Cord

Apparently, a Saudi judge has asked several hospitals to damage a man's spinal cord in order to paralyse him as punishment for a cleaver attack that left another man paralysed.

Abdul-Aziz al Mutairi became paralysed and subsequently lost a foot after a fight more than two years ago.

An unnamed man was sentenced to 14 months in prison for the assault, but released after serving only half that time leaving Mutairi's family enraged.

His brother is now demanding an equivalent punishment for the attacker and has appealed to a judge who has asked several hospitals to carry out the "medical paralysis" (fuck!), but so far the hospitals have said that they could not inflict such harm.

"There is no better word than God's word - an eye for an eye," claims Mutairi's brother. (What an asshole!)

Saudi Arabia enforces strict Islamic law and occasionally hands out punishments based on the ancient legal code.

Amnesty International has expressed concerns over the reports and said it was contacting Saudi authorities for details.

Lamri Chirouf, the group's researcher on Saudi Arabia, said that this was the first time Amnesty had heard of a punishment involving the damaging of a spinal cord.

"It's hard to follow details of the Saudi justice system," he said. "People are sentenced in closed trials with no access to the public and no lawyers."


I'm ashamed to be a member of the human race!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Killed by his mobile phone

Apparently, a man has been killed in India when his mobile phone exploded while he was using it.

Unfortunately, as is often the case, there were no witnesses to this odd event, but it was assumed that he was talking on his Nokia when the blast happened because his body was found along with the remains of the phone and battery near his farm in Banda village in the northern state of Rajasthan. Police believe that he was killed by the device after discovering pieces of the Nokia 1209 handset, a basic model released in August 2008, scattered nearby.

I don't suppose they thought about looking for pieces of the phone embedded in his skull before coming to this conclusion!

I'm not sure what the moral of this story is, but if you own a Nokia, make sure you've made your Last Will and Testament before you make your next call.


Thursday, August 12, 2010

£650,000 speeding fine! Serves the bastard right!

The Swiss have a rather unique way of deciding how much they should fine you for speeding: They take into account your salary and how much over the speed limit you were driving.

That's why a rich-fuck Swedish man is about to be fined £650,000 when he was caught doing 180 mph in his rich-fuck £160,000 Mercedes-Benz on the A12 highway between Bern and Lausanne on Friday.

Interestingly, older speed cameras had failed to capture him at earlier stages in his journey because the technology was unable to detect speeds over 125mph (200kph). It was a new, super hi-tech camera that finally did the trick.

A police spokesman said that they have no record of anyone being caught travelling faster than that in the country.

I'm please they caught the bastard. Rich fucks often think that they float above the law.

Come to think of it, I don't see why a similar formula can't be used when deciding how much to fine noisy binge drinking fucks and aggressive yobs on street corners ... or any other assholes who go out of their way to make life uncomfortable for those of us who are decent citizens. 

I'll leave it to your imagination :-)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Remains of John the Baptist found in Bulgaria (yeah right!)

This may well be the most stupid post I've ever read. I found it today on a CNN site called 'BELIEF BLOG'. It's so absurd that I can't be bothered to put it into my own words. So here it is (the funny part, at least!):

Archaeologists in Bulgaria claim they have found remains of John the Baptist while excavating the site of a 5th century monastery on the Black Sea island of Sveti Ivan.

A reliquary – a container for holy relics – discovered last week under the monastery’s basilica was opened on Sunday and found to contain bone fragments of a skull, a hand and a tooth, Bulgaria’s official news agency BTA reported.

Excavation leader Kazimir Popkonstantinov lifted the reliquary’s lid in a ceremony in the coastal town of Sozopol attended by dignitaries including the Bishop of Sliven, Yoanikii, and Bozhidar Dimitrov, a government minister and director of Bulgaria’s National History Museum, BTA said.

Further tests on the fragments are due to be carried out, but Popkonstantinov is convinced that the relics belong to John the Baptist because of [wait for it!!!] a Greek inscription on the reliquary referring to June 24, the date when Christians celebrate John the Baptist’s birth.


Sunday, August 8, 2010

This is what happens when you fuck with the environment


Looks cute, doesn't it? But that sheet of ice is four times the size of Manhattan (260 square km in surface area and half the height of the Empire State Building in thickness) and it's just broken off! It's the biggest such event in the Arctic in 50 years. Should you be worried? You bet your dog's bollocks you should! It's your fucking fault!!!

Parents who smoke in cars (and at home) and give their kids high-fat foods are committing a form of child abuse

Parents should take more responsibility for their children's health by setting a better example. That's what Professor Steve Field, chairman of the Royal College of General Practitioners, thinks ... and I agree with him.

Professor Field, who represents 42,000 GPs across the UK, said that evidence from the US indicates that more young children are killed by parental smoking than by all other unintentional injuries combined. Think about that for a moment!

Health experts have already called for smoking to be banned in cars when children are present, but the government's recent absurd (and negligent) decision not to review existing smoking legislation means that this is unlikely to happen in the foreseeable future. How stupid can you get!

Professor Field says that adults need to take responsibility for their own health.

"The truth - which may be unpalatable to some - is that too many of us, too often, neglect too many aspects of our own personal health behaviour, and this is leading to increasing levels of ill-health and early death. Too many people do not face up to the hard facts.
Every day we are confronted with the sharp end of harm caused by smoking, excessive alcohol consumption and the tsunami of obesity. People should not take offence when doctors tell them that they should lose weight or stop smoking or drinking. They need to face facts."

I agree with him. People are always complaining about a "nannying" state, but in some aspects of life, they need nannying.

Everywhere I go, I'm surrounded by more and more overweight people who strut their blubber with pride. Fat parents with fat kids are a common sight. Fat families fill their shopping trolleys with high-fat foods and give their kids chocolate and cakes to eat while they're running around the supermarket annoying the shit out of decent people like me.

An ever increasing number even stuff their fat faces while they're checking out ... as if they haven't eaten for weeks. It's disgusting!

Yesterday, while I was checking out at my local supermarket, a fat guy next to me started stuffing chicken nuggets, not only into his own mouth, but also into the mouth of the one-year-old baby he was holding. His fat, repulsive wife was doing the same. That, in my opinion, is abuse.

I ask myself how the fuck they managed to produce a child with so much whale blubber covering every centimeter of their bodies like the Michelin tire man ... but that's beside the point (or is it?!).

The British are pigs in comparison to many of our European neighbours. How many kids have you see sitting or standing in a supermarket trolley while their parent do the shopping? Don't people realize that kids - just like adults - have been walking where dogs have been pissing and shitting? And then they go and put their filthy shoes in the trolleys where I put my food? And what do the supermarket staff do? Nothing! It's a fucking disgrace!

I'm really pissed off!

Crap English

Me to my girlfriend: Are you really going to publish that post? The guy's English is shit!

My girlfriend to me: If I didn't publish the posts of all the people who write shit English, I'd never publish anything!

She's right!


Friday, August 6, 2010

Scientists find that sea sponges share almost 70 percent of human genes

Fuck! I could have told you that years ago and I'm not even a scientist. If you want evidence, take a look at these two pictures and see if you can spot the difference.

First this:

And now this:

See what I mean?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Dog Saves Drunk Man's Life By Eating His Toe

I read this today and couldn't stop laughing, so I've posted it in its entirety. The original article can be found on SKY NEWS. I have no idea who wrote it.


A dog who chewed off his owner's big toe when he passed out after a day of drinking has been hailed a lifesaver.  

'Have-a-toe-hero' Kiko, a Jack Russell terrier, apparently sensed an infection in Jerry Douthett's right big toe.

And he munched on it while his master was asleep at home in Rockford, Michigan.

A trip to the hospital confirmed Douthett's digit needed amputation and alerted doctors to the fact that he had been suffering from undiagnosed Type 2 diabetes.

Mr Douthett, 48, had been refusing to seek medical treatment for his infected toe for several weeks when the incident happened.

He said he had been working up the courage to see a doctor when he downed several alcoholic drinks during a night out and passed out on his bed.

He woke up to find the dog beside him and a pool of blood near his foot.

"The toe was gone," said Mr Douthett.

"He ate it. I mean, he must have eaten it, because we couldn't find it anywhere else in the house. I look down, there's blood all over, and my toe is gone."

Doctors later discovered that the infection had reached the bone and were forced to amputate what was left of the toe.

Before the surgery, Mr Douthett asked a nurse, "Is there any chance I can get whatever's left of my toe, so I can give it to Kiko as a treat?"

"He's a hero. He pretty much just ate the infection. He saved my life," Mr Douthett told Wood TV, adding he has since sworn off alcohol.

Kiko is still with the family but under observation by authorities.


Have you ever heard of anything so retarded in your life?! This sort of thing could only happen in the United States of Amoeba (USA) :-)

How many of you want to bet that this asshole got drunk to anaesthetize himself, hacked his own toe off to avoid having to go to the doctor's, and then fell asleep?