Sunday, July 25, 2010

The British are such assholes in so many ways - especially now that they've voted for BREXIT. Assholes! (updated Sep 2017)


I read this blog entry on Yahoo today. It was written by a comedian called Mark Watson. I've never heard of him before because I don't have a TV and I rarely listen to the radio, but apparently he's very well know in the UK. What he says is so close to my own sentiments that I've decided to paste the entire text here (unabridged). You should read it. This guy speaks the truth:

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Mark Watson's News Blog

This week I'm annoyed 

Sun Jul 25 07:00AM

By Mark Watson

Five years after the Government decided that the people of this country, like pretty much everyone else in the world, could be trusted to drink beyond the magically late hour of 11pm, the new rulers of the nation have reversed the decision. Once again, late licences will be almost impossible to come by and drinking will be confined to the end-of-work-until-11pm slot, rather than being spaced out over a night as happens in France, Italy, Spain and everywhere else in Europe where people are capable of acting like adults. The Daily Mail celebrated 'victory' this week as they broke the news. At last, a return to civilization! No more of that awful freedom to enjoy oneself which has brought the country to its knees. No more of those illegal immigrants and spongers propping up the bar at midnight. With a return to our traditional, pathetic drinking hours, we can return to what made our country great.

This infuriates the hell out of me for two reasons. The first is that - as someone who normally finishes work the wrong side of 11 - I don't like being told I can't get a glass of wine in a pub after a gig, because certain people don't understand phrases like 'only drink what you can take' and 'try not to headbutt that man in the face because he looked at your girlfriend'. In the same way that it used to feel unfair at school when the whole class had to stay back because Craig Lyons called the teacher a whore and threw Quality Street at Rizwan, it feels all wrong to punish the people in society who are not idiots just because of the urinating-in-fountains-and-vomiting-in-doorways behaviour of people who are. Can't we differentiate between people who drink all night and then pass out at a bus stop covered in their own wee, and people who just have a couple of glasses of Merlot? Do the latter really have to give up their fun because the former exist?

But what REALLY gets my back up is that the Government is probably right to do this. Because at the end of the day, yes, we really are a nation of binge-drinking morons. I've worked all over the world and been through city centres in Australia, New Zealand, Hong Kong, most of Europe, Beijing, Singapore, Toronto, New York and many more places without seeing a shred of evidence that it's necessary to stop people enjoying booze late at night. Walk through Cardiff, Nottingham or Glasgow on a Friday night, though, and you'll agree in five minutes that it probably is. It may sound naive now that when the rule was changed to allow 24-hour drinking, the idea was to create 'a continental drinking culture', i.e. not killing each other. But was it really so crazy? No, it should have been perfectly realistic. But instead of using the extra time to drink in a more measured manner, we just - like the animals we are - went at it for longer, got drunker, and hit people more. The 24-hour drinking experiment has failed, in short, because people here do not understand how to drink.

This is pretty depressing. In this country we're bad at a lot of things, but we pride ourselves on being able to hold our liquor. It turns out we can't even do that: we can hold it for a bit, then throw up all over a policeman while wearing rabbit ears for Maria's crap hen weekend. We don't deserve the freedom we briefly have. We deserve to be ruled by Daily Mail readers. We can't behave, and that's the end of it. It makes me really bloody furious. Pass me that bottle of gin.

 http://uk.news.yahoo.com/blogs/mark_watson/this-week-im-annoyed-p6145.html

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 Any comments?

 

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

You don't realise what cunts the English are until you live here. Kiwi in London.

Anonymous said...

That's for sure. They really are an arsehole of a race

Anonymous said...

About British assholes: http://howdydoer.wix.com/the-british-suck

Luna de Bethencourt said...

Dear Kiwi in London, is way worse when you move out of London. at the end of the day London is full of people from everywhere so the english who live there are a bit more openminded. i just to like living here but then I moved for family reasons, as my huaband is english, first to wiltshire, then to somerset. I dont understand why everybody enjoys making your life more difficult, telling you off, and basically being a cunt. Leaving you notes on the car about how awfull your parking is cos it was a bit close to their bumper! ( lear to get out of tight spot!) people is rude, grumpy, and miserable, I hate the people in this country, there are some exceptions, not many tho. awfull awfull people

Anonymous said...

Totally agree 200%.

Anonymous said...

brits are the americants of europe---losers, loud mouthed, arrogant clowns.

Anonymous said...

americants and brits--match made in heave--rude, grumpy, miserable, and love playing with their phones

Anonymous said...

Actually most Americans are pretty polite, and optimism is practically their national pastime. A bit loud, yes, but honestly, not as loud as the Italians. Americans hold doors, honor their agreements, and help out simply to be helpful.

The Brits are just nasty fucking jerks, simply for the joy of it. Seriously, how did you guys manage to fool the world into thinking you were the country of manners and hard work? I've never met a ruder, lazier, more dishonest group of people in my life. Even the children are monsters. I can't wait to get my paperwork sorted and leave.

- Another expat in the UK who can't believe how awful people are here

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you ... and I'm British! :)

(I actually wrote the original article)

Anonymous said...

First time I enetered UK with a reason to live forever in that land that "suppose to be" equal to all I thought it is nice place to live, but after few years I have to admit that many Brits 80% of them are rude, nasty, dirty and dishonest so much that they would easily put a knife in your back and walk away laughing at you shouting racist texts to your body. Disgraceful kind of human beings. To be hones, now thinking to get back to my country and forget I lived in the UK at all. However, there are some individuals in between them who are well educated and are OK people, but this is minority. Britain has morally fallen by low paid uneducated benefit based society.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you, although 80% is probably a little over-the-top. 75% is probably more accurate lol. I'm British, by the way, but apart from brief visits, I haven't lived in the UK for over 30 years.

Brexit was (is) a disaster. I'm pro-EU.

I wrote the original article :)

Anonymous said...

@Anon thinking of going back home: Do it. I'm going back too and I'm so excited to be around decent people again. I've been all over the world, and most people are decent everywhere I've been... except Britain. As everyone else said, rude, lazy, lying cunts.

I'm finally headed back home after a few years here, and even though I've been gone so long and am sometimes not the best at consistent contact, my old friends and even THEIR friends are all welcoming and helpful, like they are in most countries. I'm happier than I've been in years, just getting to talk to normal decent people. I'll probably die of joy once I'm actually experiencing it again and not having to look over my shoulder for roving bands of feral chavs.

There's nothing for anyone in Britain except drunken jerks for "friends," underpaid shit jobs, and astronomical taxes supporting all the lazy, entitled welfare-sucking natives.

Hell, Brexit did me a favor by making me realize going through all the immigration shit again was more trouble than this place was worth. Enjoy your isolated shithole, Brits!

To the original writer, glad you got out. Living in the UK seems to be especially tough for the minority of Brits who are decent and see how fucked up it is. A lot of the ones I know have wound up becoming isolated because they just can't deal with the majority culture anymore and there's really no opportunity for positive community. Hopefully you're happier where ever you are!

Chris Burdick said...

I can only imagine people from the UK are what you described.

Anonymous said...

Where are you from, Chris? Clearly you've never been to the UK. Just like in any country, not all people are assholes. There are nice people, and not so nice people, there. It depends on your personal experiences.

Anonymous said...

shut up anonymous. Im from the UK and it is f****** awful here. British people are insensitive,rude, lying, backstabbing and are mostly depraved drunkards who love watching their own countrymen suffer. Everything people said here is completely true and I feel a little relieved knowing I'm not the only one who see's through Britains facade. Even your best friend will stab you in the back if he's British. I was born and raised here, and it terrifies me to think we were taught to act like depraved monkeys. Thanks for nothing Britain. I would have rather never been born, than been born in your shithole country. You all make me sick. I hate that you all act like you are superior to everything and everyone. F*** you, you are nothing. I hate your celebrities who have no brain cells and huge egos, and you all dress like wankers too. You cant drive 5 minutes without seeing puke on the side of the roads. You cant walk down the street without rich pricks taking up the whole sidewalk.Just yesterday I had a private-security company coming into my home and seizing my personal things.i
beg with them to not take items which have sentimental value to me (such as gifts from my family). They didn't f****** care and just took them all, everything now gone. They even took the souvenirs i bought from holiday in tenerife 2 years ago. (and BTW BRITAIN, i go on holiday to get away from you vultures. It makes me sick seeing you in Spain and I would prefer that you go back to your shithole of a country and get pissed there.) there are 70 million of you c***s and it gives me chills knowing there are this many subhuman-like people in the world. British people have no honour and it makes me glad to know the rest of the world doesn't believe Britain's lies and deceit. There are large parts of this shithole that resemble eastern europe or third world countries - so why the hell does Britain act like they are superior to everyone. How can they sleep at night knowing that millions of their countrymen are living in squalor and are starving. F*** you selfish brits. F*** you britain. F*** you for making me lose my will to live. I hate all of you and if I ever get reincarnated into a demigod I will spend eternity making your lives miserable - that's how much i hate you pricks. Yours truly, former englishman.

Anonymous said...

I own this site and I totally agree with you. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm shocked by how accurately these descriptions resemble russia. Its really terrifying. I saw that brits have a lot of white trash, same as russia. I think of this as of sign of social decay. Think of pus building up in infected areas.
Lots of russian oligarchs escape to Britain after stealing shitloads of money (essentialy the way they became oligarchs in first place). Maybe they love London so much because it feels like home there. It makes more sense after I read all that above... and also makes me sad.

Anonymous said...

I have to admit that you are probably not wrong.

Anonymous said...

Believe pretty much everything above. Was born in and live in Glasgow. What an absolute shithole and dump of a city, the same as Scotland. Too many numpties,Ned's,wanks,Skanks,Neanderthals,knuckledraggers, scumbags, bawbags,drunks,junkies, perverts,pedophiles,bigots,racists,sex pests,fat lazy 5th rate arse holes, selfish,self centered CUNT'S.

Anonymous said...

I'm one of the earlier commenters who recent left after living in the UK for a few years (and yes, I'm much happier now!). Laughing my ass off about the "minister of loneliness." Maybe if Brits weren't such animals, they'd be able to make friends without the Nanny State holding their grubby little hands! Really can't do anything for themselves, can they? What next, are they going to need the government to fluff them before sex so they don't go extinct from not being able to figure out how to copulate?

My goodness, it's good to be out of that shithole. I really hope the continued traffic on this post saves some would-be immigrants the trouble of dealing with this god-forsaken country.

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