Monday, May 24, 2010

I hate babies and kids!

Have you every received one of those collective emails from some or other self-centered, naive fucking moron (whom you don't actually know and have never heard of before) informing you that he or she, or his or her fucking partner, or whatever, has just had a baby. What the fuck!!! My girlfriend just received one of those emails (don't continue reading if you don't want to throw up):


Hi Everyone,
You'll be delighted to know that our baby, Ugly Fuck, was born at approximately 10pm last night by c-section. She/he (we're not sure which, yet) weighs a whopping 193.28lbs and is 132.5in long (fucking hell!)
Ugly Fuck is doing fine, but we're exhausted, and we're both thrilled (yuck!) that things went smoothly enough (despite the baby weighing more than the mother!)
Lots are going on here since it's a national holiday (Saints Wank and Fuck Day) today and our families are at the house to make the traditional puke cakes that they give out in this part of the world when a baby's born. They've been frying for four hours and it looks like they have enough puke to fry for three hours more!
Many thanks for everyone's love and support  (Fuck you!)

We are currently residing in a small mansion overlooking the Mediterranean, so all money donations should be sent to the following adress: Villa Rich Fuck, Rich Fuck Drive, Rich Fuck Province, Rich Fuck RF1 1RF.


I fucking hate kids, so who gives a fuck!!!


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