Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Go ahead. Leave pieces of lung all over the window. See if I care!


I hate people who have sudden, violent coughing fits. Actually, I hate anyone who has one of those habitual, once-every-thirty-second coughs. It's so fucking annoying! But the worst types are those utter assholes - often fat, unhealthy looking people - who produce explosive, lung-ripping coughs that lasts for 2 or 3 minutes and come so completely out of the blue, without any warning at all, that you almost crap yourself with fright. Even worse are those fuckers who don't even cover their mouths. Filthy bastards! It happened to me on a tram in Germany last year. A large woman sitting adjacent to me suddenly produced the most extended, most exaggerated, most lung-tearing cough I've ever heard in my life. Coño! I was dozing off at the time, so I really did almost have a fucking heart attack! Thankfully, I lived to tell the tale. When I turned and snarled at her as I was getting off, she was too busy wiping some sort of greenish lung-looking substance from the window to notice my expression. I mean  ... fuck! Can you believe it!

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