Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A blog post by Aaron Sorkin about Sarah Palin. This is great!!!!!!!!!

I like Aaron Sorkin. I like him very much. I like how he writes, what he stands for, and I loved The West Wing. It is, without doubt, the cleverest programme I have ever seen.

I dislike Sarah Palin. Along with George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, she is - without doubt - the most unpleasant entity on the planet (and the most stupid). This means that she will probably be elected US President one day. The Americans have a habit of fucking up when it comes to electing presidents.

She was recently seen murdering a moose for pleasure on TV. This is what Aaron Sorkin wrote about that:

Aaron Sorkin

Aaron Sorkin

Posted: December 8, 2010 02:26 AM on The Huffington Post blog at

In Her Defense, I'm Sure the Moose Had It Coming

"Unless you've never worn leather shoes, sat upon a leather chair or eaten meat, save your condemnation."

You're right, Sarah, we'll all just go fuck ourselves now.

The snotty quote was posted by Sarah Palin on (like all the great frontier women who've come before her) her Facebook page to respond to the criticism she knew and hoped would be coming after she hunted, killed and carved up a Caribou during a segment of her truly awful reality show, "Sarah Palin's Alaska", broadcast on The-Now-Hilariously-Titled Living Channel.

I eat meat, chicken and fish, have shoes and furniture made of leather, and PETA is not ever going to put me on the cover of their brochure and for these reasons Palin thinks it's hypocritical of me to find what she did heart-stoppingly disgusting. I don't think it is, and here's why.

Like 95% of the people I know, I don't have a visceral (look it up) problem eating meat or wearing a belt. But like absolutely everybody I know, I don't relish the idea of torturing animals. I don't enjoy the fact that they're dead and I certainly don't want to volunteer to be the one to kill them and if I were picked to be the one to kill them in some kind of Lottery-from-Hell, I wouldn't do a little dance of joy while I was slicing the animal apart.

I'm able to make a distinction between you and me without feeling the least bit hypocritical. I don't watch snuff films and you make them. You weren't killing that animal for food or shelter or even fashion, you were killing it for fun. You enjoy killing animals. I can make the distinction between the two of us but I've tried and tried and for the life of me, I can't make a distinction between what you get paid to do and what Michael Vick went to prison for doing. I'm able to make the distinction with no pangs of hypocrisy even though I get happy every time one of you faux-macho shitheads accidentally shoots another one of you in the face.

So I don't think I will save my condemnation, you phony pioneer girl. (I'm in film and television, Cruella, and there was an insert close-up of your manicure while you were roughing it in God's country. I know exactly how many feet off camera your hair and make-up trailer was.)

And you didn't just do it for fun and you didn't just do it for money. That was the first moose ever murdered for political gain. You knew there'd be a protest from PETA and you knew that would be an opportunity to hate on some people, you witless bully. What a uniter you'd be --bringing the right together with the far right.

(Let me be the first to say that I abused cocaine and was arrested for it in April 2001. I want to be the first to say it so that when Palin's Army of Arrogant Assholes, bereft of any reasonable rebuttal, write it all over the internet tomorrow they will at best be the second.)

I eat meat, there are leather chairs in my office, Sarah Palin is deranged and The Living Channel should be ashamed of itself.

The Dog's Cojones says: Well done, Aaron. I agree with you completely.


Sunday, November 28, 2010

The idiot speaks: Waterboarding saves lives!

To make absolutely certain that his name goes down in history (as if fucking the whole planet wasn't enough), former US president, pseudo-soldier and Thomas the Tank Engine fan George W. Bush states in his recently published memoirs that information obtained from terrorist suspects using 'waterboarding'  - the interrogation technique that simulates drowning - prevented attacks on London and helped to save British lives.

In an interview with The Times newspaper, Bush confirmed that he authorised the use of waterboarding to extract information.

"Damn right!", he said. "Three people were waterboarded and I believe that decision saved lives ... Their interrogations helped break up plots to attack American diplomatic facilities abroad, Heathrow airport and Canary Wharf in London, and multiple targets in the United States."

"It doesn't matter how people perceive me in England. It just doesn't matter any more. And frankly, at times, it didn't matter then."

In that case, fuck off you warmongering piece of shit!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

What a friggin' disgrace! Yet again, Joe public has to fork out for the stinking rich!

While the vast majority of their 'subjects' (ha ha!) are struggling to survive the financial crisis, it has just been announced that although the royal family has condescended to pay for William and Kate's church service, music, flowers, decorations reception and honeymoon (well whoopie-fucking-doo!), the general public will foot the security bill.

And that's not all ...

... the wedding day will be a public holiday!

So not only will public taxes be used to finance an unnecessarily elaborate ceremony involving an out-of-date, out-of-touch, incalculably wealthy and useless institution - the British monarchy - a lot of poor bastards who work for money-grabbing employers who only pay by the hour will find themselves out of pocket when they are forced to take a day off while two people who cannot even begin to comprehend the meaning of the term 'financial hardship' tie the knot and then bugger off on a hyper-luxury honeymoon leaving the rest of us wondering how the fuck we're going pay our gas and electricity bills and put the next meal on the table.

And the most amazing (and truly absurd) phenomenon of all: millions of those poor bastards will line the streets and cheer, or sit glued to their TVs in blissful stupidity, as the happy couple make their vows and then drive by in their million-dollar limousine waving to the idiots who finance their billion-dollar lives.

So tell me please ... with the exception of the trillions of dollars that are spent on wars every year instead of finding a cure for cancer, how much more perverse can you get?!

Friday, November 19, 2010

This is what happens when you give rich fucks high-level jobs in government

A senior adviser to David Cameron - Lord 'I'm-an-utter-asshole' Young of Graffham - has apologised to the Prime Minister for telling a newspaper that the majority of British people have "never had it so good".

He also told the Daily Telegraph that people would look back and "wonder what all the fuss was about".

What an asshole!

This is what happens when you give rich fucks high-level jobs in government! They're so fucking rich that they've completely lost touch with reality.

He should be sacked without hesitation, his rich-fuck bank account should be wiped, and then he should be put on Job Seeker's Allowance for a few years.

I wonder if he'll still wonder what all the fuss is about when he has to live off 65 quid a week and he's totally financially fucked!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Did you sell your soul for games?

The following article appeared on Yahoo on 16 April. I meant to post it then, but forgot. It's a real eye-opener and demonstrates just how stupid the human species really is! LOL

Did you sell your soul for games?

Answer this question honestly – do you read the small print when you buy games on the internet?

High Street retailing giant GameStation decided to put this to the test and inserted a new clause into their terms and conditions earlier this month that granted them legal rights to the immortal souls of thousands of their online customers. Here, in darkest legalese, is how they got away with such a heinous act:

"By placing an order via this Web site on the first day of the fourth month of the year 2010 Anno Domini, you agree to grant Us a non transferable option to claim, for now and for ever more, your immortal soul. Should We wish to exercise this option, you agree to surrender your immortal soul, and any claim you may have on it, within 5 (five) working days of receiving written notification from or one of its duly authorised minions."

GameStation’s fiendish clause specified that they might serve such notice in “six foot-high letters of fire” too, but also offered customers an option to opt out, rewarding them with a £5 money-off voucher if they did so.

Alas, hardly anyone noticed the clause, let alone the substantial bonus for spotting the gag. More to the point, the fact that it passed more or less unnoticed raises an important issue – too few people actually read the small print when they make online purchases.

According to GameStation, around 7,500 customers carelessly signed their souls away on the day. Were you one of them...?

Friday, October 29, 2010

This made me laugh :-)

Halliburton has admitted that it skipped a crucial test on the final formulation of cement used to seal the BP oil well that blew out in the Gulf of Mexico.

According to the Press Association, Halliburton - which was BP's cementing contractor - increased the amount of a critical ingredient in the cement mix at the last minute and did not carry out a stability test on the new blend.

The cement's failure to prevent oil and gas from entering the Deepwater Horizon well was one of the causes of the April 20 disaster which killed 11 workers and led to the largest offshore oil spill in US history.

Halliburton made the admission in a six-page statement issued in response to findings by US president Barack Obama's oil spill commission.

Commission investigators said that tests performed before the blowout should have raised doubts about the cement used to seal the well.

Halliburton is the world's second largest oilfield services corporation with operations in more than 70 countries. It has hundreds of subsidiaries, affiliates, branches, brands and divisions worldwide and employs over 50,000 people.

Guess who used to be CEO of Halliburton?: Mr 'War Profiteer' himself, Dick Cheney!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Catholic groups shun Halloween for 'Holyween' - yeah, right!

The world's in such a continual fucking mess that it's getting increasingly more difficult to find news items that really STAND OUT.

This one caught my attention, though:

While a great many generally normal kids (if there is such a thing!) will spend Halloween dressed up as witches and wizards,  young members of the Roman Catholic groups 'Sentinels of the Morning' (Sentinelle del Mattino) and the 'National Papa Boys Association' (what the fuck!!!) will spend October 31 hanging pictures of saints from their windows and balconies to celebrate the eve of All Saint's Day.

"We're not against Halloween as such. It's just that we celebrate All Saint's Day and want to share it with other young people," said a student from the Sentinels of the Morning group.

"We'll be hanging images of saints from the front of churches and gathering in the streets. Last year it was great fun. People were fairly curious about what we were doing," she added.

Can you believe it? What a bunch of brainwashed assholes! And these people are the future of the planet? We're fucked!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Utterely disgraceful: China blocks news of Nobel peace prize winner

Imprisoned Chinese democracy campaigner Liu Xiaobo has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize ... but he almost certainly doesn't know it yet.

Roads around the prison in the Chinese city of Jin Zhou have been blocked by security, and the Chinese state media has blacked out the news. Chinese government censors have also blocked Nobel Prize reports on Internet websites.

How much more pathetic can you get!

The awarding of the Nobel Prize to Liu - who was sentenced last year to 11 years in a prison for subversion - has drawn furious condemnation from the Chinese government.

On Friday, US President Barack Obama called on China to release the imprisoned Nobel laureate saying that he has "sacrificed his freedom for his beliefs."

Come on China! How can you expect to win global support and friendship when you suppress freedom of speech? Hundreds of thousands of young people from your country study all over the world. UK and US universities are full of them. It's time to stop being an asshole!

Friday, October 8, 2010

It's official: Great Britain is the worst place to live in Europe

Research by uSwitch - one of the first price comparison sites - has revealed that high living costs, below average government spending on health and education, lack of holidays and late retirement have contributed to Britain being (in my opinion justifiably) labelled the worst place in Europe to live.

Add to this the fact that the British (with the exception of my mother and my girlfriend) are ugly, miserable, aggressive, anti-social, mean, uncouth, selfish, have terrible dress sense and are intrinsically stupid (plus the weather is shitty and British houses are crap), and there really is no argument. This country sucks!

I could tell you were you'd find a better quality of life, but I won't. When I move there, I don't want all of you buggers following me.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Further proof that humans are the most stupid species on the planet: If you want to play with poisonous snakes, the Church of the Lord Jesus in West Virginia will gladly show you the way

This dishevelled-looking guy who's about to remove a box of copperheads from his pickup is called David Payne. He's the brother of Harvey Payne, the 'pastor' of the Church of the Lord Jesus. It is one of America's last 'Signs' churches - a folk religion that encourages followers to speak in tongues and to handle poisonous snakes. This practice (it was in one of the X Files' episodes) stems from a Biblical passage in the Book of Mark and was very popular throughout Appalachia in the 1920s (which just about says it all!!!).

I found the article on If you want a really good laugh, check out the readers' comments  after you've looked at the photos :-)

Rufus 'Buddy' Jewell holds a timber rattlesnake as he prays during the church's homecoming service:

Member Justin Fletcher (L) is anointed with oil as member Nancy Kennedy (R) whirls in a trance and speaks in tongues:

A handwritten sign on the altar of the Church of the Lord Jesus warns members of the consequences of picking up snakes and drinking strychnine:

Would you handle a poisonous snake?

This is what some readers of the article said:

The only snake I'll get near is a Used Car Salesman.

Diana Diamond
Average educational level of these folks is the 3rd grade and they are so inbred over the centuries that the IQ level is about 70.

Having lived in West Virginia all my life, I get appalled every time I see this kind of crap. It just furthers the notion that all West Virginian's are ignorant, backward, "hill" people with no education or sense. Let me assure you, nothing could be further from the truth. While people hear may seem to live simply, it is not because we lack in brains. Most of us lead common, ordinary lives. We mainly have common, ordinary, religious organizations. When photos, such as these, turn up, it makes us all seem like a bunch of "hicks".

I think you mean "While people here" not "While people hear," Jethro.

I had the gift of tongues and, believe me, it is not a bunch of spontaneous "garbage" falling from one's mouth... which I trust the above photo is! The handling of serpent? HA! "Serpents", as I know it to be used in Scriptures, does NOT mean "reptiles" as in the photos above.

And the snake is praying, please let this redneck put me the f down.

HAHAHA its hard to believe such ignorance still exists there.

Those folks are nuts and need to be castrated to avoid any more inbred ofspring!

I'm hoping that the snakes and poison will take these people out of the gene pool.

Handling snakes and allowing the lord to protect you from being bit, is a pretty good test of faith. But perhaps these faithful could choose some more modern methods of proving that god is on their side.

Some suggestions:

- Juggling vials of nitroglycerine while riding a buckin' bronco - if they don't blow up, Jesus loves ya.

- Jumping into tubs of water with plugged-in appliances - if the circuit breaker works, the lord is with ya.

- Leaping off skyscrapers, and trusting in god to break your fall.

Just because your religion is more "common" or "ordinary", doesn't mean it makes you any less "ignorant" or "backward" with "no education or sense". Your post does nothing but confirm the ideas you are so upset about. Where you write Virginian's you mean Virginians. Where you write hear you mean here. And there are 3 extra commas in your last sentence. Your welcome.

Hey, grammar police...
Your welcome.
When you write "Your welcome" you mean "You're welcome."
You're welcome.

I would handle a poisonous snake. I would not handle a venomous snake. Big difference.

It should be noted that the passage in question from the Gospel According to Saint Mark is of dubious authenticity.
In older Greek manuscripts, the Gospel According to Saint Mark ends abruptly with Chapter 16, verse 8. Some manuscripts added a shorter ending, a verse 9. But the Textus Receptus (which is only a few centuries old) has the longer ending, which reads very much as if written by a different author than the rest of Chapter 16, or the rest of the Gospel According to Saint Mark for that matter. It also starts off by rehashing what was just said in the earlier verses, as if they didn't exist.
Here's the NLT (New Living Translation) of the sixteenth chapter, as older documents show it:
The next evening, when the Sabbath ended, Mary Magdalene and Salome and Mary the mother of James went out and purchased burial spices to put on Jesus' body. Very early on Sunday morning, just at sunrise, they came to the tomb. On the way they were discussing who would roll the stone away from the entrance to the tomb. But when they arrived, they looked up and saw that the stone — a very large one — had already been rolled aside. So they entered the tomb, and there on the right sat a young man clothed in a white robe. The women were startled, but the angel said, "Do not be so surprised. You are looking for Jesus, the Nazarene, who was crucified. He isn't here! He has been raised from the dead! Look, this is where they laid his body. Now go and give this message to his disciples, including Peter: Jesus is going ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there, just as he told you before he died!"
The women fled from the tomb, trembling and bewildered, saying nothing to anyone because they were too frightened to talk.
As you can see, that's a pretty abrupt ending: the women were too afraid to tell anyone, end of story?

Here's the shorter ending, also from the NLT:
Then they reported all these instructions briefly to Peter and his companions. Afterward Jesus himself sent them out from east to west with the sacred and unfailing message of salvation that gives eternal life. Amen.
You won't find that verse in a KJV. It, like many others, includes the longer ending instead, found only in more recent manuscripts:
It was early on Sunday morning when Jesus rose from the dead, and the first person who saw him was Mary Magdalene, the woman from whom he had cast out seven demons. She went and found the disciples, who were grieving and weeping. But when she told them that Jesus was alive and she had seen him, they didn't believe her. Afterward he appeared to two who were walking from Jerusalem into the country, but they didn't recognize him at first because he had changed his appearance. When they realized who he was, they rushed back to tell the others, but no one believed them. And then he told them, "Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone, everywhere. Anyone who believes and is baptized will be saved. But anyone who refuses to believe will be condemned. These signs will accompany those who believe: They will cast out demons in my name, and they will speak new languages. They will be able to handle snakes with safety, and if they drink anything poisonous, it won't hurt them. They will be able to place their hands on the sick and heal them."
When the Lord Jesus had finished talking with them, he was taken up into heaven and sat down in the place of honor at God's right hand. And the disciples went everywhere and preached, and the Lord worked with them, confirming what they said by many miraculous signs.
Now, the problem with discounting the snake-handling and poison-drinking promise passage is that this section also includes what's known as the Great Commission, the commandment from Jesus to preach the Gospel ("Good News") "to everyone, everywhere." Most Christians would rather not

It should be noted that the passage in question from the Gospel According to Saint Mark is of dubious authenticity.
Very true. As you pointed out, the passage in Mark concerning snake handling is not found in the oldest and most reliable Bible manuscripts. It was evidently added long after the book of Mark was written and is therefore not a genuine part of the inspired Bible.
Now, the problem with discounting the snake-handling and poison-drinking promise passage is that this section also includes what's known as the Great Commission, the commandment from Jesus to preach the Gospel ("Good News") "to everyone, everywhere." Most Christians would rather not
It's important to note that this is not the only location where such a commission is mentioned in the Bible. Jesus also mentions this international preaching work at Mark 13:10, as well as the following verses in Matthew:

(Matthew 24:14) "And this good news of the kingdom will be preached in all the inhabited earth for a witness to all the nations; and then the end will come."

(Matthew 28:19-20) "Go therefore and make disciples of people of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the holy spirit, teaching them to observe all the things I have commanded you. And, look! I am with you all the days until the conclusion of the system of things."

David Krider
I'm an Apostolic Pentecostal, for about 20 years, now. I am fully down with all the "stuff" about the Spirit -- the tongues and the gifts, et. al. I believe the way I do for 2 reasons.

First, it is the only belief system (and I've studied most of them) that explains the most scripture _and— human experience of any other. Second, the Holy Spirit itself works with and within you to make sense of the big picture.

The Bible itself shows how to interpret the scripture in Mark 16:18, and that passage is in Acts 28:2-6. Paul didn't go purposefully handling the snake. It was an accident. God used the situation to open the eyes of the people around Paul to let them see that there was more going on there than they first realized. It also opened the door to Paul being able to fulfill another part of the scripture from Mark, that of healing by the laying on of hands.

The Dog's Cojones says: The world is full of crazy bastards!!!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

U.S. scientific researchers infected hundreds of Guatemalan mental patients with sexually transmitted diseases from 1946 to 1948

On Friday, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius issued a formal apology to Guatemala, and to Guatemalan residents of the United States, for carrying out secret experiments in the 1940s - a practice that only came to light recently (yeah, right!).

"Although these events occurred more than 64 years ago, we are outraged that such reprehensible research could have occurred under the guise of public health," said Clinton and Sebelius in a joint statement. "We deeply regret that it happened, and we apologize to all the individuals who were affected by such abhorrent research practices."

The discovery stems from another episode in the U.S - the "Tuskegee experiment" -  which  involved 399 poor black men from Macon County, Alabama, who were 'diagnosed' with syphilis but were told by Federal scientists that they only had "bad blood".

The study, which began in 1932 and continued until 1972 when it was exposed by the media, monitored untreated syphilis (usually fatal) in the male Negro, even after penicillin proved to be an effective syphilis treatment.

Susan Reverby, a professor of women's and gender studies at Wellesley College and an expert on the Tuskegee scandal, learned of the Guatemalan project while she was doing research for a book.

She discovered that researchers from the U.S. Public Health Service, with permission from the Guatemalan government, conducted experiments on 696 male and female patients who were housed at Guatemala's National Mental Health Hospital.

The patients were injected with gonorrhea and syphilis and were encouraged to pass the disease on to others.

Reverby was instrumental in getting Bill Clinton to offer an apology for the Tuskegee experiment in 1997.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Intelligent aliens are 'God's children' ... (as opposed to stupid aliens)

"Any intelligent aliens living elsewhere in the universe [like that pea in the photo] should be considered God's children, no matter what they look like" ... and "any entity - no matter how many tentacles it has [or hasn't got ... like the pea] - has a soul," the Pope's astronomer, Brother Guy Consolmagno, has said.

This comes only a few months after physicist, Steven Hawking, claimed that there is no need for a god to explain the origin of the universe (which, as an atheist, I naturally agree with).

Brother Consolmagno also says that "the whole idea of what creation means is not a case of who wound up the clock and set it going, it's the fact there's a clock to be wound up in the first place. A god that started things up would be a pagan god. The god I believe in is outside space and time."

What the hell is that suppose to mean!

The Vatican always finds a way to confuse the shit out of people by talking utter nonsense.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Fasten your seat belts! 2012 here we come!

Were the Mayans right, I ask myself? ... 

... Horrific flooding in Pakistan resulting in the loss of thousands of lives; powerful tornadoes tearing through New York City; a storm the size of Australia working its way across New Zealand leaving a wake of destruction only weeks after an earthquake hit the Islands; and now the British Defence Secretary, Dr Liam Fox, issues a warning that the national grid could be knocked out for months by solar flares due in 2013.

Earlier in the year, Nasa warned that a peak in the sun's magnetic energy cycle and the number of sun spots or flares '''around''' 2013 could generate huge radiation levels (spoiler: isn't that how the movie 2012 begins?).

Apparently, "the resulting solar storm could cause a geomagnetic storm on Earth, knocking out electricity grids around the world for hours, days, or even months, bringing much of normal life grinding to a halt" (Press Association 20 September 2010).

I watched the movie '2012' the day before yesterday. I watched the movie 'The Day After Tomorrow' when it first came out in 2004. And I watched the movie 'The Day After' when it first hit the cinemas in 1983.

How many more warnings do we need before we start taking this shit seriously?!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Whitstable ... what a great place

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

More than 50 public figures have added their names to a letter in the Guardian newspaper saying that the Pope should not be given the "honour" of a UK state visit ... and I agree

The letter in full:

We, the undersigned, share the view that Pope Ratzinger should not be given the honour of a state visit to this country. We believe that the pope, as a citizen of Europe and the leader of a religion with many adherents in the UK, is of course free to enter and tour our country. However, as well as a religious leader, the pope is a head of state, and the state and organisation of which he is head has been responsible for:

Opposing the distribution of condoms and so increasing large families in poor countries and the spread of Aids.

Promoting segregated education.

Denying abortion to even the most vulnerable women.

Opposing equal rights for lesbians, gay, bisexual and transgender people.

Failing to address the many cases of abuse of children within its own organisation.

The state of which the pope is head has also resisted signing many major human rights treaties and has formed its own treaties ("concordats") with many states which negatively affect the human rights of citizens of those states.

In any case, we reject the masquerading of the Holy See as a state and the pope as a head of state as merely a convenient fiction to amplify the international influence of the Vatican.


Stephen Fry, Professor Richard Dawkins, Professor Susan Blackmore, Terry Pratchett, Philip Pullman, Ed Byrne, Baroness Blackstone, Ken Follett, Professor AC Grayling, Stewart Lee, Baroness Massey, Claire Rayner, Adele Anderson, John Austin MP, Lord Avebury, Sian Berry, Professor Simon Blackburn, Sir David Blatherwick, Sir Tom Blundell, Dr Helena Cronin, Dylan Evans, Hermione Eyre, Lord Foulkes, Professor Chris French, Natalie Haynes, Johann Hari, Jon Holmes, Lord Hughes, Robin Ince, Dr Michael Irwin, Professor Steve Jones, Sir Harold Kroto, Professor John Lee, Zoe Margolis, Jonathan Meades, Sir Jonathan Miller, Diane Munday, Maryam Namazie, David Nobbs, Professor Richard Norman, Lord O'Neill, Simon Price, Paul Rose, Martin Rowson, Michael Rubenstein, Joan Smith, Dr Harry Stopes-Roe, Professor Raymond Tallis, Lord Taverne, Peter Tatchell, Baroness Turner, Professor Lord Wedderburn of Charlton QC FBA, Ann Marie Waters, Professor Wolpert, Jane Wynne Willson

The photo above shows a pissed off medieval Vatican inquisitor reading the letter.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has received the Liberty Medal for his global human rights work and commitment to international conflict resolution



Monday, September 13, 2010

Spy death 'may have been professional hit' ... (so what!)

Yes, it's there again this morning along with the rest of yesterday's (and last week's and last month's) mundane news! The media is certainly sapping this one for all it's worth (or isn't worth).

I'm sorry the guy is dead. I truly am. But do I really care if the the intelligence services are now investigating possible foreign involvement in the death of spy Gareth Williams?

Foreign, local or extraterrestrial, what does it matter?!

Either way ...

I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!

So let's move on please!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Subject Header: Dead or Alive...(FBI)

I received this retarded email in my spam folder today. Read it first for a good belly-laugh and then feel free to send 'Agent' Kelvin Williams as much junk mail as you like. His email address is LMFAO!!!!!!!!)


Dead or Alive...(FBI)
Sunday, September 12, 2010 10:39 AM

Dear Beneficiary,

We receive an email that you are dead and you ask one MR.JAMES WALTER to come and claim your ATM-CARD-PACKAGE (SECURITY CODE 12090) that has been with us since two weeks now and he has also agreed to pay for the Dumorage fee which is $210 UNITED STATE DOLLARS, so I am writing you to know if you are DEAD OR ALIVE, if you do not reply back before 48hrs we will have no other alternative that to believe that are truly dead according to MR.JAMES WALTER.

If you are still alive you can get back to us as fast as you can or you can call me on my phone take note that every thing has been paid for it is just for the Dumorage fee that this MR.JAMES WALTER has agreed to pay for if you refuse to get back to us.

Am afraid we shall give him the ATM-CARD-PACKAGE (SECURITY CODE 12090) and collect the money from him and he will sign on your behalf and claim your PACKAGE that means that he is right that you are dead and you ask him to come and claim the ATM-CARD-PACKAGE (SECURITY CODE 12090)on your behalf.


Please take note that you have been given just 48hrs to get back to us so that we can know if you are alive, and fill the Information Below.

Name and Surname:
Driver License and Age:
House Address:
Phone Number and Occupation:

We await your swift response in regard of this email we have received from MR.JAMES WALTER.

Email Contact: 



Saturday, September 11, 2010

Pastor Terry Jones has changed his mind

Florida pastor Terry Jones said today that his church will not, and never will, burn a Quran, even if a mosque is built near ground zero. He claimed that his church's goal in Gainesville, Fla. was "to expose that there is an element of Islam that is very dangerous and very radical."

"We've definitely accomplished that mission," he said.

The banner outside his church which said "Burn a Koran Day" has now been taken down.

So there you are! What the fuck was all that about?!!! Days of demonstrations, and even a few people shot dead (as far as I'm aware) ... and for what? I really don't know. Some people are just fucking crazy!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

It's official: Beer-swilling, foul-mouthed, over-weight British women are the ugliest in the world

This is a bit of a generalization, of course, but with the odd exception (there are always exceptions), British women are, without doubt, the ugliest women in the known universe ... and now it's OFFICIAL!

According to the Daily Mail newspaper, 'beer guzzling', 'belching' and 'hideous dress sense' are just three of the "nicer things" that the rest of the world has to say about British women.

In a recent international poll, people from all over the world were asked who they thought were the ugliest women on the planet, and the British won hands down.

This is what they said:

British women are severely overweight, extremely foul-mouthed and unladylike, they fart and belch in public, let their fat hang out, are smothered in 'bad tattoos', and they get completely drunk and fall asleep in the street.

Sadly, it's not untrue.

Holiday expert Gary Hewitt said he wasn't shocked that the Britain had scooped the dubious honour of topping the ugly poll and that the results confirmed his suspicions about ugly British women. Their behaviour abroad [and at home] left a lot to be desired.

And before you accuse me of being sexist, in my opinion, British men are the ugliest, most animalistic, most aggressive men you will ever come across.

But as with women, there are always exceptions to the rule:

Me :-)

The photo above shows a typical British woman getting ready to go out on the town.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

So it's not just the British who are stupid ...

Apparently, in Alabama it's illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle (well duuuh!!!!!!!!!).

How do you spell 'Dove World Outreach Center'? Answer: A.S.S.H.O.L.E.S.

How's this for the ultimate in perverse stupidity:

A small, Florida-based (Gainesville) evangelical Christian church known as the 'Dove World Outreach Center' which supports anti-Islam philosophy has announced that it will burn copies of the Quran on church grounds to mark the 9/11 2001 terrorist attacks on the United States.

Even General Petraeus admits that this would not be a good idea.

"Images of the burning of a Quran would undoubtedly be used by extremists in Afghanistan — and around the world — to inflame public opinion and incite violence," he said in an e-mail to The Associated Press (the main source of this blog post).

I'm an atheist, so I don't give a flying fruit cake about religion. But just like Christians regard the Bible as holy and would go ape shit if people started burning it in the streets, Muslims consider the Quran to be the word of God and insist that it should be treated with the utmost respect at all times along with any printed material containing its verses or the name of Allah or the Prophet Muhammad. Any intentional damage or show of disrespect to the Quran is considered deeply offensive.

On Monday, several hundred Afghans rallied outside a Kabul mosque and burned American flags and an effigy of Dove World's pastor Terry Jones while chanting "death to America."

Two days earlier, thousands of Indonesian Muslims rallied outside the U.S. Embassy in Jakarta and in five other cities to protest the church's plans.

Petraeus warned that images of burning Qurans could be [and probably would be] used to incite anti-American sentiment similar to the pictures of prisoner abuse at Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison.

"I am very concerned by the potential repercussions of the possible (Quran) burning. Even the rumor that it might take place has sparked demonstrations such as the one that took place in Kabul yesterday," Petraeus said in his message.

"Were the actual burning to take place, the safety of our soldiers and civilians would be put in jeopardy and accomplishment of the mission would be made more difficult."

The U.S. Embassy in Kabul also issued a statement condemning the church's plans, saying that Washington was "deeply concerned about deliberate attempts to offend members of religious or ethnic groups."

Dove World Outreach Center, which made headlines last year after distributing T-shirts displaying the words "Islam is of the Devil," has been denied a permit to set a bonfire but has vowed to proceed with the burning.

You may be interested in knowing that Terry Jones,  Dove World's pastor, was arrested on August 4 for the possession of child pornography. Apparently, he used the popular file sharing network Limewire to share pictures of children in various states of nudity.

What a bastard! If it's true, they should lock him up (with no food or water) and throw away the key!

That's him in the photo, by the way.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Couple fined for getting off train early

I've decided to post the following article by Paul Johnston of Yahoo! Travel in its entirety because it demonstrates just how stupid the British really are (not Paul Johnston, of course, but how we do things here):

A couple have [should be 'has'] had to pay a £114 fine after getting off a train two stops early.

Emma Clark and Davyd Winter-Bates were travelling to Southampton from London with South West Trains when they decided to get off two stops early at Eastleigh.

When they handed over their tickets at the station, they were told they were each being fined £57 because they had not stayed on the train until their destination.

The fine was twice the standard fare of £28.50.

Miss Clark told The Sun: “It is utter madness. I could understand being fined if I had stayed on the train two stops beyond my destination.”

A spokesperson for Stagecoach, which owns South West Trains, said the couple had been fined because they were using discounted tickets, costing £6, which do not allow passengers to break their journeys.

In a statement, they said: “Leaving a train early is not allowed on heavily discounted tickets. The fine is double the standard single fare.”

The Dog's Cojones says: Has the world gone stark raving mad?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Body of MI6 employee was 'padlocked shut' in a bag. Was he murdered or did he do this to himself?

Do you ever feel that certain news items are not news at all and that you don't care who did what to whom (and when or why) and that you don't actually want to know?

The current prolonged drama concerning the discovery of the body of an MI6 codebreaker called Gareth Williams is a perfect example.

Naturally, I feel bad that Gareth is dead, and I also feel bad for his family; but I didn't know him personally and I honestly don't understand why he's getting so much news time.

After all, he wasn't a Hollywood movie star or the lead singer in a world-famous rock band, was he? He was a government employee who, had he not ended up dead in his bath inside a holdall, would never have hit the headlines.

You see, I think it was the holdall and the padlocks that clinched it. If he'd simply been found dead in his bath, no one would have given it a second thought (except for his family, of course).

But because his body was found padlocked inside a bag in his bath in his flat in Pimlico only half a mile from the MI6 headquarters in Vauxhall, the press decided that they would squeeze this one for all its worth, even if no one really cared (except for his family and friends, of course ... who have my deepest sympathies).

But what I find really bizarre is that despite two post-mortems and the fact that his decomposing body was found locked inside a bag in his bath, the cause of death has not yet been established and the police refuse to categorise it as a murder. Very odd indeed, don't you think?

According to the pathologist, Mr Williams had not been stabbed or shot and there were no obvious signs of strangulation.

Basically, he was just a normal guy who was only days away from completing a one-year secondment to the headquarters of the Secret Intelligence Service - also known as MI6 - when he died.

Normal guy, eh?

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Creationism - as if the planet doesn't already have enough bullshit on it

Put simply, creationism is the insane, absurd, pathetic, stupid, ridiculous, perverse, idiotic, nonsensical, fanatical religious belief that everything in the Book of Genesis is literally true: that 6000 years ago (give or take a few centuries) a supernatural, Merlin-like being magically created the universe in six days (and nights); that all of humankind descends from Adam and Eve (no one else, just Adam and Eve and, presumably, her seven daughters); and that the Garden of Eden is a lost paradise where humans "and" dinosaurs once co-existed in peace and harmony.

It goes without saying (but I'm going to say it anyway) that creationists reject evolution. But because they're devious bastards, they often embrace a sort of short-term natural selection to explain biodiversity after Noah's Flood (hummm!).

And where do they get these very odd ideas from? 

Well ... in 1650, Archbishop Ussher, the Church of Ireland Archbishop of Armagh and Primate of All Ireland from 1625 to 1656, published his Ussher Chronology, which dated the creation of the Earth to the night "preceding" October the 23rd, 4004 BCE. In other words, October the 22nd (why the fuck didn't he say that in the first place?!).

Ussher's proposed date of 4004 BC differed little from other Biblically-based estimates, such as those of Bede (3952 BC), Ussher's near-contemporary, Scaliger (3949 BC), Johannes Kepler (3992 BC), Sir Isaac Newton (c. 4000 BC), or John Lightfoot (3929 BC).

So now you know.

What a bunch of assholes!

France is not the only country expelling Roma. Germany is also committing an atrocity

The French are currently deporting Roma in what is effectively a massive exercise in ethnic cleansing. But the French are not the only country guilty of a major human rights atrocity. The Germans are also kicking Roma out of the country, many of whom were born in Germany, are German citizens, and speak only German (with just a smattering of the Roma language).
In the words of 13-year-old Bukurije Berisha, whose family was recently expelled from Germany and forced to re-settle in Kosovo: "I feel like I'm in prison. I don't go out of the yard. I still hope I'll wake up and see it was a bad dream".

She speaks no Albanian and only a little Roma. Her native language is German.

Bukurije's parents were granted asylum in Germany in 1993 after the brutal Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevic (now dead) made life in Kosovo a hell on earth. But last December, they found themselves in one of a number of poor Roma settlements along with 10,000 other Roma who are being returned to Kosovo under a bilateral deal eleven years after the end of the Kosovo war.

Thomas Hammarberg, the human rights commissioner for the Council of Europe, the pan-European rights body, urged member states to "refrain from action that only worsens the exclusion of Roma, many of whom already live on the fringe as stateless people without documents and thus denied basic human rights".

European Justice and Rights Commissioner Viviane Reding has also warned that the situation of many Roma seems to have deteriorated over the years and that this is not acceptable.

So why is nothing being done to stop this debacle?

Disregarding the fact that around half of the Roma to be deported from Germany are children who were born and raised in Germany, Kosovo is acknowledged as one of Europe's poorest countries and critics justifiably claim that it is unable to guarantee basic human rights.

So I repeat: why is nothing being done?

(Adapted from an article on The Local - an excellent website providing Germany's news in English: )

Monday, August 30, 2010

Who's going to stop France from expelling the Roma?

Despite global criticism, France continues to kick Gypsies out of the country.

Interior Minister Brice Hortefeux called the action "legitimate and necessary."

Is he insane? Is this how he wants to be remembered by future generations? Is this how he wants to go down in history? By removing an entire ethnic group from his country? I can hardly believe that the French people are allowing this to happen.

"It's not a question of stigmatizing this or that population," said Hortefeux. "We can't close our eyes to the reality."

What reality?

Many of these people were born in France. They are French citizens. They have no where to go. You can't just expel a whole people. It's perverse. It's wrong. It's the forcible removal of a population. It's ethnic cleansing!

Surely this is not how Nicolas Sarkozy believes he will win the 2012 presidential election!

France announced today (Monday) that it will step up deportations of "foreigners" caught stealing or begging aggressively as part of a high-profile crackdown on the Roma minority that has sparked condemnation around the world.

I never cease to be shocked and disgusted at what human beings are capable of doing to each other. I'm against any form of crime, and stealing and begging aggressively must not be tolerated. But the Roma should not be singled out as the only perpetrators. The very notion is absurd and very very wrong.

By the way, that's Brice Hortefeux in the photo. Remember his face.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Influential Israeli rabbi says that God should kill the Palestinian people and their leader. It's no wonder the human species is fucked!

Right before the Middle East peace talks are set to begin next week, an influential Israeli rabbi (let's hope he's not 'too' influential!) has said that God (his god) should strike down the Palestinians and their leader with a plague.

His name is Ovadia Yosef, he's 89 years old, and he's the spiritual head of the religious Shas party in Israel's government.

These were his exact words:

"Abu Mazen [Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas's popular name] and all these evil people should perish from this earth. God should strike them and these Palestinians - evil haters of Israel - with a plague."

Apparently, the Iraqi-born cleric has made similar remarks before. During a Palestinian uprising in 2001, he called for the annihilation of the Arabs and said it was forbidden to be merciful to them.

Fortunately, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has distanced himself from the comments and said that Israel wants to reach a peace deal with the Palestinians that would ensure good neighbourly relations.

What a joke! I don't think that any of them know what the word 'peace' actually means.

Saeb Erekat, the chief Palestinian negotiator, said that Yosef's latest comments were tantamount to calling for "genocide against Palestinians. The rabbi's remarks are an insult to all our efforts to advance the negotiations process."

He's right ... but what negotiations is he talking about? I only see more and more innocent people dying on both sides.

When are we ever going to learn?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

How many times have I told you that humans are intrinsically stupid and destructive! Here's more evidence

There are two things that are an absolute no-go in my life: religion and football. Religion because it's demeaning, ridiculous and flies in the face of all reason (and loads of priests are paedophiles), and football because, well, it sucks.

And why does it suck? Because it attracts aggression and violence like a magnet, because it's obsessive, and because many players earn salaries that are big enough to eradicate hunger and starvation from the face of the planet.

And if you want an example of football destructiveness, obsessiveness and stupidity all rolled into one, take a look at this:

Fans of the Greek side Panionios have dug up their own football pitch and torn down the goal posts because - wait for it - they were outraged at the idea of their ground being used by their hated local rivals AEK Athens after the original venue for the Europa League match between Scottish team Dundee United and AEK Athens had to be switched from the Olympic Stadium to Panionios due to sprinklers problems at the Olympic ground.

Apparently, Panionios fans were so pissed off that they broke into their own stadium and wreaked havoc in order to stop the game from going ahead.

If anyone's interested (for fuck sake, get a life!), the game will now take place at Georgios Karaiskakis stadium in Athens, home of Olympiacos (the fans of which are clearly somewhat more civilized than those at Panionios.

But there's a final twist to the tale: AEK fans have been banned from attending the match in order to ensure safety. This means that Dundee United's 600 travelling fans will be the only supporters in the 33,500-seater stadium.

Have you ever heard of anything so absurd, so ridiculous, so childish, and so pathetic?!

That's football for you :-)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Stephen Fry has attacked the BBC for producing 'chicken nugget' television ... and I totally agree with him

I don't watch TV. In fact, I haven't owned one for at least 30 years. Ignoring the fact that most UK TV programmes are a load of infantile, mundane rubbish, I refuse to pay for anything (namely a TV license) if I'm not going to get excellent value for money in return.

Of course, I occasionally watch TV when I'm staying in a hotel and have absolutely nothing better to do. But even then, I spend so much time flicking through the channels in search of something decent to watch that I end up with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

That's why I agree with Stephen Fry when he says that infantilism is the problem: "The number of times I turn on the television and I think Oh my God, it's nine o'clock in the evening. This is for grown-ups?!"

He says that much of the BBC's output is more suitable for children and that it fails to provide interesting and challenging programmes for adults.

"It's just shocking. The only dramas the BBC will boast about are Merlin and Doctor Who, which are fine but they're children's programmes. They're not for adults. They are like a chicken nugget. Every now and again we all like it. Every now and again. But if you are an adult, you want something surprising, savoury, sharp, unusual, cosmopolitan, alien, challenging, complex, ambiguous, possibly even slightly disturbing and wrong."

He's right!

He goes on to warn that broadcasters are making programmes that are too simplistic and do not seem to trust in the intelligence of the audience.

"I don't want TV to be 'pompous and academic', but I feel that broadcasters should make more programmes that 'surprise and astonish'. The more TV trusts that British adults are not children, the better our TV will be," using Sir David Attenborough's natural history programmes as a rare example of shows that have escaped the trend for dumbing down.

Doctor Who writer Steven Moffat dismisses Fry's criticisms by claiming that "Stephen is just trying to sound like a grown-up. He loves Doctor Who - he's told me he is a fan. The show is designed specifically to be a family programme. It is the junction between children and adults - the show that everyone wants to watch. Doctor Who is a very high- end, quality show - it's got no comparison to "chicken nuggets" or junk food."

In my opinion, Moffat is wrong and Stephen Fry is absolutely right.

The British are dumbed down enough as it is without TV companies (and the UK press) making matters even worse. You only have to log on to Yahoo! UK to see what I mean. Most days of the week, the news headlines are about some 'shocking' event or revelation in the next episode of 'Corie' (Coronation Street). It's absurd! I mean, for fuck sake ... it's only a soap opera, but it takes precedence over immeasurably more important world affairs.

What an idiotic species we are!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Traffic Jam Enters Ninth Day

If you think you've got it bad, think of the poor bastards who are currently entering their 9th day stuck in a 100km long traffic jam on the Beijing-Tibet Expressway in China! Yes, you understood correctly. Nine days confined to your car with not a single toilet in sight. Shit!

Apparently, hundreds of cars and trucks on their way to Beijing have been at a standstill because of roadworks in the capital. Drivers have been playing chess or cards, with some joking "concerts should be held at each congested area every weekend, to alleviate drivers' homesickness".

Local residents have even been benefiting from the jam by selling food and drink to the car owners, which has pissed some people off because the vendors have been making a small fortune by overcharging drivers for such essential items as noodles and hot water.

It's hoped that the roadworks will be completed by the end of September. Yes, the end of September! :-)

Niu Fengrui, director of the Institute for Urban and Environmental Studies at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences said that poor road planning was part of the problem. Duuuh!!!

Monday, August 23, 2010

This is great: The Rise of Text Messaging

Click on the image to see a larger view.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

I despair at how fucked the world is! Saudi Judge Asks Doctors To Damage Criminal's Spinal Cord

Apparently, a Saudi judge has asked several hospitals to damage a man's spinal cord in order to paralyse him as punishment for a cleaver attack that left another man paralysed.

Abdul-Aziz al Mutairi became paralysed and subsequently lost a foot after a fight more than two years ago.

An unnamed man was sentenced to 14 months in prison for the assault, but released after serving only half that time leaving Mutairi's family enraged.

His brother is now demanding an equivalent punishment for the attacker and has appealed to a judge who has asked several hospitals to carry out the "medical paralysis" (fuck!), but so far the hospitals have said that they could not inflict such harm.

"There is no better word than God's word - an eye for an eye," claims Mutairi's brother. (What an asshole!)

Saudi Arabia enforces strict Islamic law and occasionally hands out punishments based on the ancient legal code.

Amnesty International has expressed concerns over the reports and said it was contacting Saudi authorities for details.

Lamri Chirouf, the group's researcher on Saudi Arabia, said that this was the first time Amnesty had heard of a punishment involving the damaging of a spinal cord.

"It's hard to follow details of the Saudi justice system," he said. "People are sentenced in closed trials with no access to the public and no lawyers."


I'm ashamed to be a member of the human race!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Killed by his mobile phone

Apparently, a man has been killed in India when his mobile phone exploded while he was using it.

Unfortunately, as is often the case, there were no witnesses to this odd event, but it was assumed that he was talking on his Nokia when the blast happened because his body was found along with the remains of the phone and battery near his farm in Banda village in the northern state of Rajasthan. Police believe that he was killed by the device after discovering pieces of the Nokia 1209 handset, a basic model released in August 2008, scattered nearby.

I don't suppose they thought about looking for pieces of the phone embedded in his skull before coming to this conclusion!

I'm not sure what the moral of this story is, but if you own a Nokia, make sure you've made your Last Will and Testament before you make your next call.


Thursday, August 12, 2010

£650,000 speeding fine! Serves the bastard right!

The Swiss have a rather unique way of deciding how much they should fine you for speeding: They take into account your salary and how much over the speed limit you were driving.

That's why a rich-fuck Swedish man is about to be fined £650,000 when he was caught doing 180 mph in his rich-fuck £160,000 Mercedes-Benz on the A12 highway between Bern and Lausanne on Friday.

Interestingly, older speed cameras had failed to capture him at earlier stages in his journey because the technology was unable to detect speeds over 125mph (200kph). It was a new, super hi-tech camera that finally did the trick.

A police spokesman said that they have no record of anyone being caught travelling faster than that in the country.

I'm please they caught the bastard. Rich fucks often think that they float above the law.

Come to think of it, I don't see why a similar formula can't be used when deciding how much to fine noisy binge drinking fucks and aggressive yobs on street corners ... or any other assholes who go out of their way to make life uncomfortable for those of us who are decent citizens. 

I'll leave it to your imagination :-)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Remains of John the Baptist found in Bulgaria (yeah right!)

This may well be the most stupid post I've ever read. I found it today on a CNN site called 'BELIEF BLOG'. It's so absurd that I can't be bothered to put it into my own words. So here it is (the funny part, at least!):

Archaeologists in Bulgaria claim they have found remains of John the Baptist while excavating the site of a 5th century monastery on the Black Sea island of Sveti Ivan.

A reliquary – a container for holy relics – discovered last week under the monastery’s basilica was opened on Sunday and found to contain bone fragments of a skull, a hand and a tooth, Bulgaria’s official news agency BTA reported.

Excavation leader Kazimir Popkonstantinov lifted the reliquary’s lid in a ceremony in the coastal town of Sozopol attended by dignitaries including the Bishop of Sliven, Yoanikii, and Bozhidar Dimitrov, a government minister and director of Bulgaria’s National History Museum, BTA said.

Further tests on the fragments are due to be carried out, but Popkonstantinov is convinced that the relics belong to John the Baptist because of [wait for it!!!] a Greek inscription on the reliquary referring to June 24, the date when Christians celebrate John the Baptist’s birth.


Sunday, August 8, 2010

This is what happens when you fuck with the environment


Looks cute, doesn't it? But that sheet of ice is four times the size of Manhattan (260 square km in surface area and half the height of the Empire State Building in thickness) and it's just broken off! It's the biggest such event in the Arctic in 50 years. Should you be worried? You bet your dog's bollocks you should! It's your fucking fault!!!

Parents who smoke in cars (and at home) and give their kids high-fat foods are committing a form of child abuse

Parents should take more responsibility for their children's health by setting a better example. That's what Professor Steve Field, chairman of the Royal College of General Practitioners, thinks ... and I agree with him.

Professor Field, who represents 42,000 GPs across the UK, said that evidence from the US indicates that more young children are killed by parental smoking than by all other unintentional injuries combined. Think about that for a moment!

Health experts have already called for smoking to be banned in cars when children are present, but the government's recent absurd (and negligent) decision not to review existing smoking legislation means that this is unlikely to happen in the foreseeable future. How stupid can you get!

Professor Field says that adults need to take responsibility for their own health.

"The truth - which may be unpalatable to some - is that too many of us, too often, neglect too many aspects of our own personal health behaviour, and this is leading to increasing levels of ill-health and early death. Too many people do not face up to the hard facts.
Every day we are confronted with the sharp end of harm caused by smoking, excessive alcohol consumption and the tsunami of obesity. People should not take offence when doctors tell them that they should lose weight or stop smoking or drinking. They need to face facts."

I agree with him. People are always complaining about a "nannying" state, but in some aspects of life, they need nannying.

Everywhere I go, I'm surrounded by more and more overweight people who strut their blubber with pride. Fat parents with fat kids are a common sight. Fat families fill their shopping trolleys with high-fat foods and give their kids chocolate and cakes to eat while they're running around the supermarket annoying the shit out of decent people like me.

An ever increasing number even stuff their fat faces while they're checking out ... as if they haven't eaten for weeks. It's disgusting!

Yesterday, while I was checking out at my local supermarket, a fat guy next to me started stuffing chicken nuggets, not only into his own mouth, but also into the mouth of the one-year-old baby he was holding. His fat, repulsive wife was doing the same. That, in my opinion, is abuse.

I ask myself how the fuck they managed to produce a child with so much whale blubber covering every centimeter of their bodies like the Michelin tire man ... but that's beside the point (or is it?!).

The British are pigs in comparison to many of our European neighbours. How many kids have you see sitting or standing in a supermarket trolley while their parent do the shopping? Don't people realize that kids - just like adults - have been walking where dogs have been pissing and shitting? And then they go and put their filthy shoes in the trolleys where I put my food? And what do the supermarket staff do? Nothing! It's a fucking disgrace!

I'm really pissed off!

Crap English

Me to my girlfriend: Are you really going to publish that post? The guy's English is shit!

My girlfriend to me: If I didn't publish the posts of all the people who write shit English, I'd never publish anything!

She's right!


Friday, August 6, 2010

Scientists find that sea sponges share almost 70 percent of human genes

Fuck! I could have told you that years ago and I'm not even a scientist. If you want evidence, take a look at these two pictures and see if you can spot the difference.

First this:

And now this:

See what I mean?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Dog Saves Drunk Man's Life By Eating His Toe

I read this today and couldn't stop laughing, so I've posted it in its entirety. The original article can be found on SKY NEWS. I have no idea who wrote it.


A dog who chewed off his owner's big toe when he passed out after a day of drinking has been hailed a lifesaver.  

'Have-a-toe-hero' Kiko, a Jack Russell terrier, apparently sensed an infection in Jerry Douthett's right big toe.

And he munched on it while his master was asleep at home in Rockford, Michigan.

A trip to the hospital confirmed Douthett's digit needed amputation and alerted doctors to the fact that he had been suffering from undiagnosed Type 2 diabetes.

Mr Douthett, 48, had been refusing to seek medical treatment for his infected toe for several weeks when the incident happened.

He said he had been working up the courage to see a doctor when he downed several alcoholic drinks during a night out and passed out on his bed.

He woke up to find the dog beside him and a pool of blood near his foot.

"The toe was gone," said Mr Douthett.

"He ate it. I mean, he must have eaten it, because we couldn't find it anywhere else in the house. I look down, there's blood all over, and my toe is gone."

Doctors later discovered that the infection had reached the bone and were forced to amputate what was left of the toe.

Before the surgery, Mr Douthett asked a nurse, "Is there any chance I can get whatever's left of my toe, so I can give it to Kiko as a treat?"

"He's a hero. He pretty much just ate the infection. He saved my life," Mr Douthett told Wood TV, adding he has since sworn off alcohol.

Kiko is still with the family but under observation by authorities.


Have you ever heard of anything so retarded in your life?! This sort of thing could only happen in the United States of Amoeba (USA) :-)

How many of you want to bet that this asshole got drunk to anaesthetize himself, hacked his own toe off to avoid having to go to the doctor's, and then fell asleep?

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Congratulations, Catalonia. You've banned bullfighting

Hopefully scenes like the one above will soon be a thing of the past. I don't give a fuck if bullfighting has been an integral part of Spanish culture for centuries. Killing animals for entertainment is unforgivable. I just hope that certain dumb fucks in Spain's central government don't succeed in overruling Catalonia's decision.

Watch this space.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

IKEA - you can't go wrong

The beauty of IKEA is that if you move home, there's almost certainly going to be a store within an hour's drive of wherever you move to ... virtually anywhere in the world. This means that you can sell your bed, then buy the same one again. And you can keep on doing this forever and ever (or at least every time you move).

Of course, you're going to lose money ... but at least you'll sleep well :-)

(The aim of this post is to temporarily take your mind off the asshole in the photo below.)

Monday, July 26, 2010

No wonder BP chief executive Tony Hayward (the shit) has a smile on his stupid face

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only has BP chief executive Tony Hayward struck a lucrative deal that will see him receive an immediate £600,000-a-year pension when he leaves the firm in October (his reward for destroying the planet and claiming ignorance!), he hasn't even been sacked! 

Instead, the company will nominate him to the board of a joint venture with Russian oligarchs.

Apparently, Hayward’s appointment to TNK-BP, predominantly in the west of Russia, will be confirmed after a board meeting today and before the stock market opens tomorrow morning.

This is a massive blow to the families of those  who were killed, and those whose lives have been destroyed, by the Gulf of Mexico disaster.

This piece of shit will go on getting richer and richer while the oceans turn to oil.



Sunday, July 25, 2010

The British are such assholes in so many ways - especially now that they've voted for BREXIT. Assholes! (updated Sep 2017)

I read this blog entry on Yahoo today. It was written by a comedian called Mark Watson. I've never heard of him before because I don't have a TV and I rarely listen to the radio, but apparently he's very well know in the UK. What he says is so close to my own sentiments that I've decided to paste the entire text here (unabridged). You should read it. This guy speaks the truth:


Mark Watson's News Blog

This week I'm annoyed 

Sun Jul 25 07:00AM

By Mark Watson

Five years after the Government decided that the people of this country, like pretty much everyone else in the world, could be trusted to drink beyond the magically late hour of 11pm, the new rulers of the nation have reversed the decision. Once again, late licences will be almost impossible to come by and drinking will be confined to the end-of-work-until-11pm slot, rather than being spaced out over a night as happens in France, Italy, Spain and everywhere else in Europe where people are capable of acting like adults. The Daily Mail celebrated 'victory' this week as they broke the news. At last, a return to civilization! No more of that awful freedom to enjoy oneself which has brought the country to its knees. No more of those illegal immigrants and spongers propping up the bar at midnight. With a return to our traditional, pathetic drinking hours, we can return to what made our country great.

This infuriates the hell out of me for two reasons. The first is that - as someone who normally finishes work the wrong side of 11 - I don't like being told I can't get a glass of wine in a pub after a gig, because certain people don't understand phrases like 'only drink what you can take' and 'try not to headbutt that man in the face because he looked at your girlfriend'. In the same way that it used to feel unfair at school when the whole class had to stay back because Craig Lyons called the teacher a whore and threw Quality Street at Rizwan, it feels all wrong to punish the people in society who are not idiots just because of the urinating-in-fountains-and-vomiting-in-doorways behaviour of people who are. Can't we differentiate between people who drink all night and then pass out at a bus stop covered in their own wee, and people who just have a couple of glasses of Merlot? Do the latter really have to give up their fun because the former exist?

But what REALLY gets my back up is that the Government is probably right to do this. Because at the end of the day, yes, we really are a nation of binge-drinking morons. I've worked all over the world and been through city centres in Australia, New Zealand, Hong Kong, most of Europe, Beijing, Singapore, Toronto, New York and many more places without seeing a shred of evidence that it's necessary to stop people enjoying booze late at night. Walk through Cardiff, Nottingham or Glasgow on a Friday night, though, and you'll agree in five minutes that it probably is. It may sound naive now that when the rule was changed to allow 24-hour drinking, the idea was to create 'a continental drinking culture', i.e. not killing each other. But was it really so crazy? No, it should have been perfectly realistic. But instead of using the extra time to drink in a more measured manner, we just - like the animals we are - went at it for longer, got drunker, and hit people more. The 24-hour drinking experiment has failed, in short, because people here do not understand how to drink.

This is pretty depressing. In this country we're bad at a lot of things, but we pride ourselves on being able to hold our liquor. It turns out we can't even do that: we can hold it for a bit, then throw up all over a policeman while wearing rabbit ears for Maria's crap hen weekend. We don't deserve the freedom we briefly have. We deserve to be ruled by Daily Mail readers. We can't behave, and that's the end of it. It makes me really bloody furious. Pass me that bottle of gin.


 Any comments?